The Cars You'd Choose to Deliver 100 Pizzas in One Night

We here at Jalopnik love a hypothetical. It keeps us distracted from the misery of the real world around us, and it's partly why I came up with the slightly off-the-wall question I posed to you fine folks last week. Unfortunately, most of you misunderstood what I was asking, but we'll do our best to soldier on.

I wanted to know what car you'd choose to deliver 100 pizzas in a single night. I wrongly assumed that you'd all understand I meant you'd have to go back and forth to the pizza joint over and over again — not that you'd need to fit one-hundred-bloody pizzas in a vehicle at once. Unfortunately, I forgot what they say about people who assume things, and that's on me. Because of that, the majority of you answered with vehicles you thought could fit the most amount of pizza, something I'm deeply uninterested in. Luckily, some of you had a shred of common sense and understood my question, so you answered appropriately. For that, I commend you.

I feel a little bit like the teacher who comes back after a day off to find a bad note from the substitute. I'm disappointed, but it's okay. We'll all try again next week, and I'll be sure to be a bit more explicit in my instruction from here on out. In any case, why don't you head on down below and check out what cars your fellow Jalops would use to deliver 100 pizzas in a single night and not what cars your fellow Jalops would use to deliver 100 pizzas at the same time?

Honda Element

Honda Element. Amazing side door, insane amount of cargo room. I used to do catering for a restaurant that had one of these. Comfy, easy to manoeuvre, spacious as hell.

Submitted by: mymustargiscrowdphobic

Ectomobile

This. Massively cool car. Hero movie car. Lights and sirens. Trunk space for days. Modern GM swapped crate motor. (This was from a ride-along I did a few weeks ago through NYC).

Submitted by: Nick

Slate

Slate pickup. With a custom fitted pizza warming oven in the bed – multiple compartments with flip-up lids to keep everyone's Za at the perfect temperature.

Submitted by: Radar Lover Gone

E-Bike

Faster time, more tip = e-bike.

No incentive = whatever cheapest EV I can buy. Leaf maybe.

Submitted by: J12 J34

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Classic Pizza Thrower

Hypothetical situation calls for a hypothetical car. I choose the Ninja Turtles Pizza Shooter Car.

&

The TMNT pizza thrower, duh.

Submitted by: Awesam & JaredOfLondon

Vespa

I don't have to carry all 100 at once, right?

Then it's not even close: a Vespa.

10-15 trips, weaving and dodging traffic, disregarding traffic laws, driving and parking on the pavement.

This would be a normal Tuesday.

Submitted by: Joseph Rodger

Volvo 740/940 wagon

Nothing like a box on wheels to deliver boxes full of wheels (of pizza).

Submitted by: Brewman15

Plymouth Prowler and trailer

Hemi swapped of course lol.

Submitted by: RC350F

GMT800

I am thinking a rusty crusty GMT800 Tahoe/Yukon. Sympathy tips.

You won't get any tips in a £100k+ SUV.

Submitted by: TheDuke

Toyota GR Corolla

Something small and quick, in order to dart about in traffic if necessary, and has a bit of space. GR Corolla would be a very efficient choice.

Submitted by: W.M. Ress

1992 Plymouth Grand Voyager

I have delivered more than 100 pizzas in a night back in the Y2K era, when I was a struggling single father who somehow had the kids more than 50% of the time while working two jobs. My chariot was the venerable 1992 Plymouth Grand Voyager. Midtown KC. On a Friday or Saturday night, or Football Sundays, 100 pies in a night is a lot, but not unheard of. And a minivan like the Grand Voyager offers more than enough space to be the driver selected for a big delivery to a frat house (great tippers), church youth groups (never tippers), car dealerships (industry standard tippers), or whoever needs a dozen or three pies.

As sleepless and stressful as that time of my life was, if I had to deliver 100 pizzas in a night again, I'd want to do it in a burgundy 1992 Plymouth Grand Voyager with a 4-year-old in the 2nd row and the B52s on the cheap CD player haphazardly wired into the stereo.

Submitted by: Papa Chris