Do You Want Versailles on Wheels? I Have the Ram ProMaster for You

As someone employed in the utterly stable world of digital media, I spend a great deal of time searching for vans I could conceivably live in. There's a part of me that yearns to be nothing more than a grubby rock climber, living out of a van at some crag and posting content on OnlyFans to fund petrol and cat food — yet it seems that desire doesn't have to come at the expense of luxury. Case in point: this Ram ProMaster vanlife build, which looks perfectly ordinary on the outside and like an absurd mini-Versailles on wheels inside.

I stumbled upon this listing while window shopping on Vancamper, one of my favourite car-browsing sites, if only for how granular its feature filters are. This van popped up for being equipped with both air conditioning and a shower — a girl likes to be comfortable and clean — yet the advert makes absolutely no mention of how utterly bonkers the interior design here is. There are gold accents everywhere, copious ornate trim, and even the composting toilet comes from a brand called "Throne."

It's so ornate

Just look at this! The plug sockets have gold filigree around them, and take a gander at how ornate the door knockers and vents are. The curtains are lace, the sliding door appears to be covered in gold-stitched white leather. The sink has four taps! What on earth could those possibly be for? Hot water, cold water, soap, and... toothpaste, perhaps? I cannot fathom it.

Most vanlife builds prioritise practicality, but this one doesn't seem to have that as a primary concern. There's a bed, a sink, and a shower, but not much in the way of a kitchen or storage. I don't think it's truly liveable, unless you don't really own anything up to and including clothes, but if you're a nomadic nudist with dreams of French aristocracy, then boy do I have the £33,000 motor vehicle for you. The seller says they're keen to sell, so get your offers in now.